At the age of 35 I decided to quit my job and take a long trip to South America.
I was working at the time as an Algorithms Developer in one of Israel’s Hi-Tech companies.
I worked there for 3 years, first 2 of them I also busted my ass to complete my MSc thesis and submit it on time to the university.
Working on my thesis while meeting the demanding schedules at work took everything I had in me. Seriously. It was the worst year of my adult life.
When it was finally over, it left me depleted. I tried to dig into my inner sources to find motivation to carry on, and guess what – there was nothing left.
I worked to build someone else’s dream
Back at the time I didn’t recognize it, but I was out of sync with my inner self.
Selling my soul to the Israeli Hi-Tech devil for a good-enough salary, going to the same boring office every morning for the foreseeable future, working on the same boring shit day after day — maybe 5% of my job actually required creativity — put up with all of that, and just to build someone else’s dream.
Somewhere inside I knew I’m taking the wrong path here, but I didn’t know any better alternative. I was trapped, and it didn’t seem that anything’s going to change.
I needed a nudge in the right direction, and that nudge was an out-of-the-blue humiliating HR talk about my recent performance. Under a false pretense of concern, I was posed a sugar-coated ultimatum – get your shit together, or else…
I chose ‘or else’.
When I handed my one month notice I knew for a fact only two things: I’m not looking for another job anytime soon, and that I love to travel.
So, 4 days later I bought a ticket to South America.
Bon voyage
On Nov 14th, 2015 I landed in Buenos Aires.
It was the beginning of what’s about to become a 10.5 months life-changing journey.
I arrived, and for a while just went with the flow. Traveled with the purpose of traveling, went to touristy places, just did what the rest were doing.
I carried with me a way-too-expensive tent, sleeping bag and hiking sticks – all packed in my way-too-expensive backpack, and I kinda enjoyed this unburdening silence. But I also felt weird,… even uncomfortable.
See,.. all Israeli dudes around me were like 22 to 24, and here I am, a 35 years old backpacker carrying his mochilla, running around like some poisoned mouse. Back in Israel my friends are buying houses, having kids, nurturing careers… what the hell am I doing with my life?
But slowly I started to let go.
I was quickly gaining travel experience, learning the language, the customs, the way to do things when you’re on the road. I was getting into the flow. I started regaining my confidence, slowly forgetting about what I’ve left behind.
I started to feel really really good.
For the first time in more than a decade I had absolutely no constraints — no time constraints, no obligation to anyone or anything. I was free for real.
The first few months of my trip were all about hiking, and I constantly pushed my limits. I felt that if I want do something, NOW is the best time for it (this inner truth guides my actions to this very day) — So on my third week in South America I packed my stuff and left by myself for an 8 days trek in the wild natural reserve of Torres Del Paine.
To me as a first timer — never before have hiked for so many days alone in nature — it was a mind altering experience.
After that it became much easier to plan a trek on my own, and I continued doing so for almost 4 months throughout the entire Argentinian-Chilean Patagonia.
A life changing experience
Trekking by myself was an amazing experience.
I witnessed first-hand all kinds of nature marvels, such as glaciers, waterfalls, monstrous granite peaks, and crystal blue lakes. But I’ve also rediscovered the pleasure of quiet time with myself.
A REAL quiet time – both physically and mentally.
With nothing urgent or important to do, I had cast aside all the mental clutter that was plaguing my life, and was suddenly able to think clearly again.
At this point it’s tempting to think I was spending my days “pondering about deep existential dilemmas”, right? Maybe coming up with edge-cutting resolutions about my new life, deciding how “it’s all gonna be different now”.
But it wasn’t like that at all.
During these many hours alone in nature my brain literally took a mental dump… I was busy mostly taking the garbage out.
It wasn’t a deliberate process, it’s just what happens when you let go of the reigns — not forcing your thoughts in any particular direction. And why would you?… All these endless hours of hiking, what else do you really have to do other than think?… Time was an endless resource.
So I didn’t think about anything in particular, but thoughts came and went, and the mental puzzle was built on its own accord nevertheless. I just let my mind wander, and bit by bit got rid of stuff that haunted me prior to that trip.
Why was that important? Because such burdens consume LOADS of energy. They make it hard to clearly see the things that really matter to you — and if you don’t know what matters to you, how can you pursue it?
My journey took me through much of Latin America, and as I climbed up-north through Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador and finally Colombia one thing became very clear to me — This journey was the best decision of my grown life and was gonna become… had already became, a life changing experience.
When I arrived in Colombia I was tired of trekking and nature. It was exactly 8 months since the beginning of my trip and I felt like I’ve seen and done it all. I was exhausted again, but the good kind of exhausted.
So no more hiking or tourist attractions — I just wanted to experience a local scene. You know — parties, girls, great food, shopping, making new friends — that kinda stuff.
Medellín, Colombia
My first stop in Colombia was Medellín.
I immediately fell hopelessly in love with the place. The incredible energetic vibe this Colombian city latches on to you in a way I don’t think I could describe. You’ll have to take my word for it.
In Medellín I found everything I was looking for, and it sucked me forcefully in.
During my first month there I felt more alive and happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Everything was easy — making new friends, meeting girls, great food, amazing atmosphere, non stop parties. I simply couldn’t believe such happiness was possible.
So when time came to return to Israel depression hit me hard. It’s not just a way of saying, I was literally depressed.
After some thought I decided to extend my trip by another month. I paid the outrageous flight ticket penalties, and stay in Colombia just a little bit longer.
Epiphany
During my second month in Medellin I was fortunate enough to meet some young very talented entrepreneurs that actually lived there. They weren’t tourists in the way I was.
I met them at one of the parties, and I clicked. They were foreigners like me – one was an Israeli dude, couple of Americans. They all had online businesses, they made income entirely online, and were able to enjoy the city as their permanent location — Heck! They were able to enjoy ANY CITY in the world as their permanent location.
Do you see where I’m going with it?
Inspiring as it was, I was still running by my old script — That excitement was for someone else to enjoy, right? — I myself knew I’m going back to Israel for some job interviews, be back to some boring office, get paid a lot, buy loads of crap I don’t need. You know,… “restore order to my life”. I needed one more nudge in the right direction.
Tell you the truth, I’m not sure what was that little nudge that finally pushed me over the edge — maybe it was the second depression, on the way back home.
On the second time I left Colombia — 10.5 months after I first arrived to South America — on my way back to Israel depression hit me again.
I just left an amazing country, amazing friends, amazing atmosphere behind. For 2 months I’ve lived the dream — the life that could still be mine by expanding my vision. By stepping out of my comfort zone, and rescripting myself.
I saw how other people do it, and they were no different than me! — They just operated on a different script.
Their reality had expanded horizons, and they enjoyed the universe of benefits.
I started writing my new script on the flight home, and it was larger than Colombia, or any other specific place.
I wanted the freedom to choose where to live, and the freedom to pursue my passions. And I saw how it can be made possible.
The entrepreneur within
During the past decade of my life I was constantly engaged in various initiatives. All kind of small projects that took place where my duties as a student or an engineer ended.
I’m an enthusiastic autodidact, I love learning stuff on my own, I love creating stuff and expressing myself that way, and I have a constant unsatisfied hunger to grow and improve myself. Like I mentioned before – being in charge of a screw in a large corporate machine was out of sync with myself.
I needed to have a thing of my own. Yet, nothing that I worked on ever took off — most projects abandoned after couple of weeks, and I kinda lost faith in myself.
At the time I believed I lacked talent, creativity, and discipline, and focus. I really believed I’m not cut out to be an entrepreneur. But that was of course ridiculous — I was constantly creating new stuff — I was writing, programming, photo-shooting, editing videos and more. I had the beast in me.
What I lacked was a vision, and good habits.
The new vision came back with me from Colombia. The good habits I started to develop a bit later — don't wanna steal focus from my story here, but a must read is 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. If you feel you’re getting lost within your goals, want to do lots of stuff and end up doing nothing, that’s your starting point. That was it for me, at least.
Anyway, on the flight back to Israel it became clear to me that I am not going back on the payroll. It was exactly the same as last year, but this time for very different reasons. I wasn’t exhausted anymore, quite the contrary – I was bursting with creative energy and I was not about to waste it this time.
I decided I’ll try to make it on my own. If there was ever a good time to start, that would be it.
Life is exciting
If you’ll put a gun to my head, and force me to sum 10.5 months of journey into one single insight that I took back home with me, it’s that life should be exciting.
Back at the time of I couldn’t guess where that new adventure I faced — entrepreneur’s life — would take me, but I knew I’m excited about it. And I knew that the moment it would stop being exciting I’ll just rethink my course.
Nothing bad will ever come up of trying! Payroll life will always be there, as an eternal sad and boring Plan B.
Tim Ferris in The 4 hours workweek seems to word it nicely –
The worst that could happen wasn’t crashing and burning, it was accepting terminal boredom as a tolerable status quo.
This would be where I wrap up.
If you made it all the way down here, you must be really interested in me 🙂 Guess I should say thanks… and if I’ve inspired you in any way, I’m totally humbled!
Anything you wanna say to me – you know where to find me. Feel free.
Cheers,
Barak
